Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
