My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
