If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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