This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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