nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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