Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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