I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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