Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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