Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
