No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
