"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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