I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
