Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
