Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
