Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
