Already got asked if we're dating
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
