I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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