You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
