How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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