That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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