I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
