hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize