i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
