My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
