Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
