I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
