i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
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A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
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