somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it's like iHOP with fire
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
