The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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