Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The air taste purple.
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