I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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