I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
