I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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