I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
