well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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