and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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