Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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