Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
