wrigley field is MILF paradise
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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