PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize