Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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