do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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