I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
two words: eviction party
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Randomize
