just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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