Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
