? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
