I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize