I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
