So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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