No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
