Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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