careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
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He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
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You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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