I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
People in love make me want to vomit
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
