the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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