Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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