the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
