guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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