If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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