I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
